05/13/25 - I sometimes find myself amazed — and not a little ashamed — at the things I take for granted. I look at my life and think, “I wish I had a better car” or “I wish I could afford more than this burger” or “I wish I had this kind of house.” But when one is reduced to walking and one doesn’t know if one will keep one’s food down and one knows those who’ve lost their homes, suddenly one can take appropriate stock. I have learned that all that I have and all that I am is by the grace of God. The means that I’ve prided myself on for so many years I’ve come to recognize as nothing more than what He’s allowed. And I learned this by losing.

 

But by losing, I have gained.

It sounds weird, even counterintuitive, but I’ve become grateful for my struggles, because in them have I come to realize just how much my God loves me. He has put me in places where I was absolutely at His mercy, and therefrom I realized just how much mercy He has shown me. When I’ve had literally nothing, He has blessed me with all that I needed. Therefore, as Paul, I’ve come to glory in my infirmities, so that in me His promises may be made manifest and I can be a living testimony of just how good He is. As the Preacher says, the Old Testament doesn’t often mention faith, at least in that singular term. But the people of God showed their faith throughout by fully relying upon Him. I have learned what that looks like. Not that I count myself to have apprehended. I don’t have all the answers; I don’t even have all my answers. I don’t boast of “having it all together.” I know there are trials yet to come, obstacles and difficulties that will present themselves. But I am grateful for what He has taught me, for as the song says “Each vict’ry will aid you some other to win.” And so I fight, fight for my faith, fight to see the fulfillment of His promises, fight past the hard parts to keep hold of hope. But I know I don’t fight alone. And that’s a thought that gives me peace through the days.

​

-DLJ